Let it Go
It drives me crazy when people feel the need to give obvious advice.
I’m smart enough to know what I need. I think, for the most part, we all are. But things are never that simple. If they were, life would be a whole lot easier.
I remember reading “Eat Pray Love” about three years ago. The most compelling part of that book for me was when the main character was put to task for failing to see the truth of her struggling life.
She hadn’t let go. She hadn’t forgiven. She struggles because she allowed herself to. She wasn’t letting go of the old in order to allow the new in. She needed to create a space and let the universe do the rest. After that moment, she went a long journey toward a new life, a better life….a renewed life.
Unfortunately, that latter part (after the admission that you’ve been a total moron and have deluded yourself into thinking your problems are bigger than you) is the hardest part. It’s the part I struggle with. It’s the part I am going to devote myself toward from here on out.
I kind of came to this realization in a bar this past Saturday night. We went to OCH on 4th and had a few vodka 7’s. One of my best friends from San Antonio (who plans to move to Austin this fall) was visiting and we decided to hit the town (as you do in Austin) and meet up with a few friends. It had been awhile since I had been to Austin, and I quickly noticed how much things had changed. Everything seemed improve. Everything except me.
When we first got there, the place was pretty dead, but as the people began to trickle in I noticed a stark contrast between the people of Austin and the people of San Antonio. Austinites seem more laid back, matter-of-act, and far more comfortable. I really like that. I wish I could take part in that.
Hopefully, one day, I’ll allow myself to. But I’m not going to delude myself into thinking that “letting go” is as easy as deciding to do so. It’s a process. Sometimes, a long one.
And finally…I welcome it.